Jokes and Funny Stories

lots of jokes and funny stories

On this website you will find loads of jokes and funny stories on lots of different subjects to laugh at. The humor content on this site is suitable for all ages to see.

  • Recent Additions
    These are the most recently added jokes and funny stories.
  • Random Jokes
    A selection of jokes or funny stories chosen at random from our jokes database.

Our 'Joke of the Day' for Tuesday, July 25th, 2017

The Three Bears returned one sunny sunday morning from a stroll in the woods to find the door of their little house open. Cautiously, they went inside. After a while, big Daddy Bear's deep voice boomed out, "Someone's been eating MY porridge!" Mummy Bear gave a yelp, "Someone's been eating MY porridge!", she said. Little Baby Bear rushed in, "Forget the porridge - someone's nicked the DVD player!"

Here are some random jokes

Elephants

What do elephants say as a compliment to other elephants?
You look elephantastic.

Located in the Elephants section

Answering Machine Messages

No! NO! Not THAT! Anything but that! Not the beep! No! Please! Not the beep! Anything but the beep! AAAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Located in the Answering Machine Messages section

Animals

If your cow sounds like this, bake it and eat it "moo,moo". If your cow sounds like this I would take the fish "Moo ahhh,moo moo ahhh".

Located in the Animals section

Knock Knock

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Jilly.
Jilly who?
It's Jilly standing out here - please let me come in.

Located in the Knock Knock section

Change Light Bulb

How does an engineer change a light bulb?
As long as lighting levels are within operational parameters, he doesn't !

Located in the Change Light Bulb section

Scottish

Young Jock MacTavish got down on his knees to propose to her when a 10p piece dropped out of his pocket and rolled under the sofa. In the 20 minutes it took him to find it she had lost interest.

Located in the Scottish section

Miscellaneous

Hey everyone, I just saw a brand new Broadway show based on the dictionary ---------------- it was a play on words.

Located in the Miscellaneous section

What Do?

What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
An alarm cluck.

Located in the What Do? section

What Do?

What do you call a man who is able to complete a job in just 30 seconds?
Arthur Minute.

Located in the What Do? section