American Jokes And Humor - 2

This is page 2 of our collection of American jokes and humor.

Yo momma so fat she can sit on a dollar and make change.

She was just a moonshiners daughter but I love her still.

Yo momma's so ugly, she gives Freddy Krueger nightmares!

Yo momma's so ugly, even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!

Yo momma's so stupid, she thought Fleetwood Mac was a new hamburger at McDonalds!

Yo momma's so stupid, she got hit by a cup and told cops she got mugged.

Yo momma's so stupid, she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project.

You totaled your car... and can't remember why... could it have been... that case of Bud Dry?

A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence. He pulls him out and says, "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now." The Mexican man pleads with him, "No, noooo, Senor, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!"
The border patrol agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him, and says "OK, I'll let you stay if you can use three English words in a sentence."
The Mexican man of course agrees.
The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The three words are: green, pink and yellow. Now use them in one sentence."
The Mexican man thinks really hard for about two minutes, then says, "Hmmm, OK. The phone, it went green, green, green... I pink it up, and sez yellow?"

Fred and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year. Every year Fred would say, "Edna, I'd like to ride in that there airplane." And every year Edna would say, "I know Fred, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."
One year Fred and Edna went to the fair and Fred said, "Edna, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance." Edna replied, "Fred that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars."
The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars."
Fred and Edna agreed and up they go. The pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He does all his tricks over again, but still not a word.
They land and the pilot turns to Fred, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."
Fred replied, "Well, I was going to say something when Edna fell out of the plane, but ten dollars is ten dollars."

A Joke At Random

Why did the truck driver drive his truck off the cliff?
He wanted to try out the air brakes.

You can find more like this in the Why Did? category