British Jokes And Humour - 2

This is page 2 of British jokes and humour.

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A gang of thieves broke into a blood bank last night and stole a hundred pints of blood. Police are still hunting for the clots.

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What do you call a horse that plays the violin in a musical?
Fiddler on the hoof.

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Which American duo became famous for stealing horses?
Bonnie and Clydesdale.

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What did the woman say to the undertaker when he started hitting his broken down funeral car?
Stop beating a dead hearse.

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Doctor, Doctor I've got rotten teeth, bad breath and smelly feet.
Sounds like you've got Foot and Mouth disease!

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Doctor Doctor I feel like biscuits!
What, you mean those square ones?
Yes!
The ones you put butter on?
Yes!
Well, that means you're crackers!

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Did you hear about the undertaker who buried someone in the wrong place?
He was sacked for making a grave mistake.

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Policeman: Why are you driving your car in circles?
Motorist: I was just going for a little spin.

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Why did the bus stop?
Because it saw the zebra crossing.

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What does an oyster do on his birthday?
He shellabrates.

A Joke At Random

Do you feel like a glass of orange juice?
Why? Do I look like one?

You can find more like this in the Miscellaneous Jokes category