Home / British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories - Page 1

British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories - Page 1

This is our collection of British humour for you to laugh at, be amused by, or simply be completely puzzled as to why the British should find any of these jokes and funny stories even remotely funny. Hopefully you will enjoy at least some of them.
British humour



This is page 1 of 16.

$text4
Last night a large quantity of sand, cement and gravel were stolen from a local builder's yard.
A police spokesman said they are looking for some concrete evidence to help catch the thieves.
$text4
Customer: I'd like a bar of soap please.
Shop Assistant: Would you like it scented?
Customer: No, I want to take it with me now.
$text4
What type of socks does a gardener like to wear when he is working?
Garden hose.
$text4
Doctor: So, tell me, what has brought you to this hospital?
Patient: An ambulance.

Submitted by: Stuart
$text4
What famous 60's song did Charles Dickens write?
Oliver Twist.
$text4
What does a shark like to eat for lunch?
Fish and ships!
$text4
Why was the dog unable to talk?
The cat got his tongue.
$text4
What do you call the people who are made of rubber and stand at the entrance to a nightclub?
Bouncers.
$text4
Last night I got into a taxi and said to the driver, 'Robin Hood's Close'.
He said 'Don't worry, I'm sure that I can lose him at the next set of traffic lights'.
$text4
Did you hear that the police have put out a warning to house owners about a gang of men who recently failed in their attempt to steal the tiles from the roof of a local house?
The police said they were roofless criminals.

You are currently on page 1 of 16

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Next Last


Adverts