What do you call the people who are made of rubber and stand at the entrance to a nightclub? Bouncers.
Last night I got into a taxi and said to the driver, 'Robin Hood's Close'. He said 'Don't worry, I'm sure that I can lose him at the next set of traffic lights'.
Did you hear that the police have put out a warning to house owners about a gang of men who recently failed in their attempt to steal the tiles from the roof of a local house? The police said they were roofless criminals.
Why is it a bad idea to iron a four leaf clover? Because you should never press your luck.
Dave: Did you hear that Fred has got a job at the bowling alley? Joe: What tenpin? Dave: No it's a permanent job.
Why is 5 o'clock in the morning a bit like a pigs tail? Because it's twirly!
Submitted by: VJ
My sister fell in love with a famous cricket player. She was completely bowled over by him.
Why did King Arthur have a round table? So no one could corner him.
Fred goes into a hotel and says to the receptionist 'I'd like a room please.' Receptionist: 'Single, Sir?' Fred: 'Yes, but I am engaged.'
Did you hear about the idiot who thought Hamlet was an omlette served with bacon?