British Jokes And Humour

What the British think is a humourous joke may be completely mystifying to people from other countries. That is why we have created this section for everyone who does find British jokes humourous (or even humorous). But you don't have to be British to view this section. This is page 1 of 12

Do you have any grandchildren?
No, all my children are just ordinary.

What is short, green and goes camping?
A new boy scout.

Did you hear about the man who stole a truck load of eggs?
He only did it for a yolk.

What did Brian say when he wanted his older brother to stop holding his plastic building bricks?
Lego.

Where did the dog breeder deposit his savings?
In Bark-lays Bank.

What did the footballer say when he accidentally burped during a game? "Sorry, it was a freak hic."

What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent.

What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.

Why did the bees go on strike?
Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers.

Did you hear about the man who entered a pun contest in a newspaper. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win the prize. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

A Joke At Random

Did you hear about the man went into a bank and asked to see the man who arranged loans?
'I'm sorry, sir,' said a cashier, 'the loan arranger is out to lunch at the moment.'
'Well, can I speak to Tonto, then?' asked the man.

You can find more like this in the Did You Hear? category