British Jokes And Humour

What the British think is a humourous joke may be completely mystifying to people from other countries. That is why we have created this section for everyone who does find British jokes humourous (or even humorous). But you don't have to be British to view this section. This is page 1 of 12

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One day a Viking named Leif returned after a long sea voyage and found that during his absence his name had been removed from the town register. He sent his wife to the town hall make a complaint to the mayor.
'I'm sorry,' said the mayor, 'I must have taken Leif off my census.'

Submitted by : George 

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What is a water otter?
A kettle.

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What government agency is responsible for finding lost vicars?
The Bureau of Missing Parsons.

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What is the opposite of woe?
Gee-up!

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How does a barber cut the moon's hair?
Eclipse it.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were having a rest in their hotel room when suddenly a tree walked in.
"Elm entry, my Dear Watson," said Holmes.

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Tourist: Can you tell me the way to Bath please?
Policeman: Well, first you turn on the hot and cold taps then ...

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Last night there was a big fight in our local fish and chip shop - a lot of fish got battered.

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I used to dress off the peg, but now my neighbours take in their washing at night.

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Saliva drools O.K.

A Joke At Random

My girlfriend's cooking is just like a good man, hard to keep down.

You can find more like this in the Girlfriends category