Did You Hear - Jokes - 3

This is page 3 of the "Did you hear?" jokes.

Did you hear about the dating agency for chickens that went bankrupt last week?
They couldn't make hens meet.

Did you hear about the very intelligent monster?
He was called Frank Einstein.

Did you hear about the rich Arab who bought a herd of cows?
He became a milk sheikh.

Did you hear about the man who listened to the match?
He burnt his ear.

Did you hear about the karate champion who joined the army?
The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself.

Did you hear about the young man who got really worried when his nose kept growing until it was eleven inches long?
He thought it might turn into a foot.

Did you hear about the florist who had two children?
One is a budding genius and the other one is a blooming idiot.

Did you hear about the mad scientist who crossed a parrot with an alligator?
It bit off his arm and said, 'who's a pretty boy then?'

Did you hear about the musical ghost?
He wrote haunting melodies.

Did you hear about the woman who was so ugly she could make yogurt just by staring at a glass of milk for an hour?

A Joke At Random

Wee Hughie was dying. Tenderly, his wife Maggie knelt by his bedside and asked: ‘Anything I can get you, Hughie?’
No reply.
‘Have you got a last wish, Hughie?’
Faintly, came the answer. . . ‘a wee bit of of that boiled ham over yonder.’
‘Wheesht, man,’ said Maggie, ‘you know fine that’s for the your funeral.’

You can find more like this in the Scottish Jokes category