Featured Jokes And Funny Stories

A cowboy rides into town, goes into a bar, has a beer, walks outside and finds his horse has been stolen. He walks into the bar, and fires his gun through the ceiling. "WHICH ONE OF YOU MOTHERS STOLE MY HOSS?" he yells. No-one answers. "ALRIGHT, I'M GONNA HAVE ANOTHA BEER, AND IF MY HOSS AIN'T OUTSIDE BY THE TIME I FINNISH, I'M GONNA DO WHAT I DUN IN TEXAS". He gets another beer, walks outside, and his horse is back, so he get's on it and makes to ride out of town. The bartender wanders out of the bar and asks "Say partner, what happened in Texas?". The cowboy turns to him and says "I had to walk all the way home..."

Located in the Miscellaneous Jokes section
Added: 02-12-2005

The poor guy walks up to the rich guy's house. He's down on his luck and needs some money. He rings the doorbell. "Hi there, I'm down on my luck, need some money, and I was wondering if you have any work I could do for you?" The rich Guy decides to give him a break, and says: "Sure, my porch needs painting. I'll pay you 50 dollars to do it for me." "Sure thing, Mister, I'll get started right away!" Time passes, until... "Hey Mister, I'm all done painting!" "Well, here's your 50 dollars" "Thanks, and by the way, it's a Ferrari, not a Porsche."

Located in the Miscellaneous Jokes section
Added: 02-11-2005

Once upon a time there was a cruise ship sailing. On board, a magician was giving a show to some passengers. The magician ALWAYS had a parrot on his shoulder. Whenever the magician told a joke, the parrot would give it away. One time the magician had a knife, he spun it around it dissappeared! The parrot said "It's in his pocket, it's in his pocket". The crowd booed him because the parrot gave it away. The next trick he did, he waved a wand around and it vanished. Again, the parrot said, "It's up his sleeve! It's up his sleeve!" The magician got mad because he couldn't keep any of his tricks secret. The parrot kept giving them away.
One day the cruise ship sank. The magician and the parrot managed to make it to an island where they stayed for about 3 months when the parrot, all of a sudden, burst out and asked:
"Ok, I give up! Where'd you hide the ship?"

Located in the Jokes About Pets section
Added: 10-06-2003

A lawyer and his brother were hunting. A mountain lion jumped out in front of them and started snarling.
The brother said "What should we do?"
The lawyer said "I'm gonna run for it."
The brother said "You can't outrun a mountain lion!"
The lawyer said "I don't have to outrun HIM-- I only have to outrun YOU."

Located in the Lawyers section
Added: 10-06-2003