Funny, Answering Machine Messages - 3

This is page 3 of funny, answering machine messages.

Greetings from the school of Computer Generated Music, in a moment we will play one of our shorter selections, after which you may leave a message.

"Hello, I am actually home at the moment, but I really don't feel like listening to whatever your problem is. So, If you leave your name and number at the tone, when I feel like responding to your message, I will."

"Terribly sorry, but you've reached an answering machine."

"You have reached 555-5678, DIAL-A-DEMON. At the sound of the tone you will be possessed."

"Hello? Hello? I can't hear you. I guess that's 'cos I'm not at home right now. But if you'll leave a message, I'll be sure to get back to you..."

Hi, this is Fred. I just stepped outside to get the paper, and the door locked behind me. Luckily, I left the answering machine on. So, while I'm outside, shivering in my underwear, you can leave a message. Then, when the landlord lets me back in, I can get back to you.

"This is a boring answering machine message. Leave a message anyway." because I'm sick of people ringing the phone at 1am just so they can hear the clever messages I usually have, and then hanging up without even leaving a "like your message" message.

This is the Literacy Self Test Hotline. After the tone, leave your name and number and recite a sentence using today's vocabulary word. Today's word is supercilious

The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password.

Kemosabe no in tipi now. You leave'um message after little smoke signal, and Kemosabe get back for pow-wow real fast.

A Joke At Random

If a farmer has two eggs for breakfast every morning, but he doesn' own any chickens and he doesn' get them from anyone else, where do the eggs come from?
From his ducks.

You can find more like this in the Intelligence Tests category