Insults

Here are some funny insults.

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I'm a self-made man.
We accept your apology.

Why don't you go home and brush up on your ignorance.

An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

He doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box.

The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.

All foam, no beer.

He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.

His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.

Missing a few buttons on his remote control.

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A Joke At Random

Joe grew up in a small town, then moved away to attend college and law school. He decided to come back to the small town because he could be a big man in this small town. He really wanted to impress everyone. He opened his new law office, but business was very slow at first.
One day, he saw a man coming up the path. He decided to make a big impression on this new client when he arrived. As the man came to the door, Joe picked up the phone. He motioned the man in, all the while talking. "No. Absolutely not. You tell those clowns in New York that I won't settle this case for less than one million. Yes. The Appeals Court has agreed to hear that case next week. I'll be handling the primary argument and the other members of my team will provide support.
Tell the District Attorney that I'll meet with him next week to discuss the details."
This sort of thing went on for almost five minutes. All the while the man sat patiently as Joe rattled instructions. Finally, Joe put down the phone and turned to the man. "I'm sorry for the delay, but as you can see, I'm very busy. What can I do for you?"
The man replied, "I'm from the phone company. I came to hook up your phone."

You can find more like this in the Lawyers category