Jokes And Funny Stories About Animals

Here are some jokes and funny stories about animals including dogs, horses and ducks.

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My friend says that you can speak in cat language. Is it true?
Me - how?

What happens to frogs that are illegally parked?
They get toad away.

What was the name of the small horse that fought windmills?
Donkey Oatey.

What swings from a trapeze and miaows?
An acrocat.

How can you tell if a chicken likes you?
It gives you a peck on the cheek.

Every dog has its day, only a dog with a broken tail has a weak-end.

Joe: Last night the lion-tamer at the circus was attacked by his lions.
Brian: Was he clawed?
Joe: I don't know what is name was.

A man walked into a pet shop and said, 'I'd like a puppy for my son.'
'Sorry sir,' said the store owner, 'we don't do part exchange.'

Two dogs were walking along the road. One dog stopped and said: "My name is Fido. What's yours?
The other dog thought for a minute, and then replied: "I think it's Down Boy."

A women was considering buying an aging Thoroughbred but wanted a veterinarian's opinion of the horse before finalizing her deal. She asked when the vet had completed his examination - "Will I be able to race him?"
The veterinarian looked at the woman, then at the horse. "Sure" he replied, "and you'll probably win!"

A Joke At Random

Momma mouse was getting food in the kitchen with her baby when the cat pounced in. Snatching up the kid Momma ran for the mousehole but it was obvious she wasn't going to make it. Finally in desperation she whipped around and shouted "Bark, Bark" at the cat. The cat skidded to a halt and ran away. Momma mouse turned to her baby and said, "You see how important it is to learn a foreign language!"

You can find more like this in the Mouse Jokes category