Christmas Jokes And Funny Stories - 2

This is page 2 of Christmas jokes and funny stories to help you see the humorous side of the festive season.

If you have a fear of Santa Claus coming down your chimney at Christmas, are you suffering from Santaclaustrophobia?

What do angry mice send at Christmas?
Cross mouse cards.

Every Christmas I get a horrendous pain that stays for a week. Then my mother-in-law goes back to her own house.

Father: Did you see Father Christmas this year, son?
Son: No it was too dark to see him, but I heard what he said when he stubbed his toes on the edge of my bed.

I don't care who you are, get those reindeer and that sleigh off my roof.

Fred: What kind of Christmas did you have?
Tom: Oh, the same as last year, thirty minutes eating turkey, mince pies and Christmas pudding, followed by three days in bed recovering.

Steve: What's your father getting for Christmas?
Dave: Bald and fat.

Who used to take presents to the famous detective, Sherlock Holmes?
Santa Clues.

What do gorillas sing at Christmas?
Jungle Bells, Jungle Bells...

Joe: Did you get many Christmas presents?
Jack: I sure did. A lot more than my four brothers.
Joe: Why was that?
Jack: On Christmas morning I got up two hours before them.

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A Joke At Random

Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.
Throw him a doughnut, sir, it'll make a good lifebelt.

You can find more like this in the Jokes About Restaurants & Food category