Christmas Jokes And Funny Stories - 3

This is page 3 of Christmas jokes and funny stories.

What do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

I wish you a Merry Christmas
And a Happy New Year,
A stocking full of presents
And a fridge full of beer.

Christmas - a holiday during which neither the past nor the future is of as much interest as the present.

What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas?
Santa Claws.

Who carries a sack and bites people?
Santa Jaws.

What did Santa get when he crossed a reindeer with a piece of wood?
A hat rack.

How does santa begin a joke?
"This one will sleigh you...."

Mummy, here's your Christmas present. A box of your favorite chocolates.
Thanks, but the box is half empty.
Well, they're my favorite chocolates too.

What did the fireman's wife get for Christmas?
A ladder in her stocking

Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.

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A Joke At Random

It was recently said that a lawyer was fishing in the Atlantic, when a sudden swell threw him into the water. A school of man-eating sharks immediately converged on him, but they lifted him out of the water, and carefully swam him to the shore, where he waded out of the water. He turned, and asked them why they had saved his life instead of eating him alive. One of the sharks smiled, and said "Professional Courtesy!"

You can find more like this in the Lawyers category