Christmas Jokes and Funny Stories - 4

This is page 4 of Christmas jokes and humorous festive stories.

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Where do snowmen dance?
At a snowball.

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If you have a fear of Santa Claus coming down your chimney at Christmas, are you suffering from Santaclaustrophobia?

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Every Christmas I get a horrendous pain that stays for a week. Then my mother-in-law goes back to her own house.

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Father: Did you see Father Christmas this year, son?
Son: No it was too dark to see him, but I heard what he said when he stubbed his toes on the edge of my bed.

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I don't care who you are, get those reindeer and that sleigh off my roof.

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Fred: What kind of Christmas did you have?
Tom: Oh, the same as last year, thirty minutes eating turkey, mince pies and Christmas pudding, followed by three days in bed recovering.

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Steve: What's your father getting for Christmas?
Dave: Bald and fat.

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Who used to take presents to the famous detective, Sherlock Holmes?
Santa Clues.

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What do gorillas sing at Christmas?
Jungle Bells, Jungle Bells...

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Joe: Did you get many Christmas presents?
Jack: I sure did. A lot more than my four brothers.
Joe: Why was that?
Jack: On Christmas morning I got up two hours before them.

A Joke At Random

What do you get if you cross a snake with a set of building blocks?
A boa constructor.

You can find more like this in the What Do? category