Christmas Jokes and Funny Stories

Here are some jokes and funny stories about christmas or xmas as it is often called. This is page 1 of 7

John: Would you like a little Christmas cheer?
George: Yes, that would be very welcome.
John: Ok. Hip, hip hooray!

Who takes Christmas presents to the police stations?
Santa Clues.

Knock, knock. Who's there?
Harp.
Harp who?
Harp the Herald Angels Sing.

Knock, knock. Who's there?
Chris.
Chris who?
Christmas stocking.

What does Father Christmas do if his elves get too fat?
He sends them to an elf farm.

Knock, Knock. Who's there?
Avery.
Avery who?
Avery merry Christmas.

What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the standard alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.

What do you get if you deep fry Father Christmas? Crisp Cringle.

What does a monster write on his Christmas cards?
Best vicious of the season.

Knock, Knock. Who's there?
Dexter.
Dexter who?
Dexter halls with boughs of holly ...

A Joke At Random

I went home the other day and I heard' my dad screaming. I said, 'What's wrong?'
He said, 'Your mother was pressing my trousers.'
I said, 'My mother was pressing your trousers and you screamed?'
He said, 'Yes, I was still in them.'

You can find more like this in the Jokes For Children category