Christmas Jokes And Funny Stories

Here are some jokes and funny stories about christmas or xmas as it is often called.
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Father Christmas

What do you call a man who claps his hands at Christmas time?
Santapplause.

Where do snowmen dance?
At a snowball.

If you have a fear of Santa Claus coming down your chimney at Christmas, are you suffering from Santaclaustrophobia?

What do angry mice send at Christmas?
Cross mouse cards.

Every Christmas I get a horrendous pain that stays for a week. Then my mother-in-law goes back to her own house.

Father: Did you see Father Christmas this year, son?
Son: No it was too dark to see him, but I heard what he said when he stubbed his toes on the edge of my bed.

I don't care who you are, get those reindeer and that sleigh off my roof.

Fred: What kind of Christmas did you have?
Tom: Oh, the same as last year, thirty minutes eating turkey, mince pies and Christmas pudding, followed by three days in bed recovering.

Steve: What's your father getting for Christmas?
Dave: Bald and fat.

Who used to take presents to the famous detective, Sherlock Holmes?
Santa Clues.

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A Joke At Random

Two men play five games of checkers. Each man wins the same number of games. There are not ties. Explain this.
they are not playing each other.

You can find more like this in the Intelligence Tests category