Jokes and Funny Stories about Computers - 5

This is page 5 of jokes and funny stories about computers.

Profanity is the one language all programmers know best.

If at first you don't succeed, you must be a programmer.

I haven't lost my mind it's backed up on tape somewhere.

Another megabytes the dust.

"I'm all for computer dating, but I wouldn't want one to marry my sister."

Beware of Programmers who carry screwdrivers.

Unix - Reach out and grep someone.

Hardware,
The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.

If a listener nods his head when you're explaining your program, wake him up.

Real Programmers don't play tennis, or any other sport that requires you to change clothes. Mountain climbing is OK, and real programmers wear their climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly spring up in the middle of the office.

A Joke At Random

Santa Claus needed a vacation. He decided to go to Texas because it was warm and he had heard that the people were friendly. As soon as he arrived in town, people began to point and say, "Look! The big red one! Isn't he someone famous?" Santa thought, "Gee, I'll never get any rest if people start asking to sit on my lap and try to tell me things they want." So he decided to disguise himself. He bought a cowboy outfit complete with cowboy boots and cowboy hat. "No one will know me now-- I look just like everyone else!" He thought happily. As soon as Santa started walking down the street people began to point and say, "Look! It's that famous Christmas personality!" Santa rushed around a corner to hide. "It's my beard!" he thought. "They recognize me because of my long white beard!" So Santa went to a barbershop and had his beard shaved off. "I really look like everybody else now!" Santa thought. So he walked down the street with a big smile on his face. Suddenly a man shouted "It's him! It's him! Look everybody!" Santa couldn't believe it. He was sure that no one would recognize him. So Santa walked up to the man and said, "How did you recognize me?" The man looked at Santa and said, "You? I don't know you-- but isn't that four-legged guy with the big red nose behind you, Rudolph?"

You can find more like this in the Christmas category