Jokes and Funny Stories about Doctors

Jokes and Funny Stories about doctors and the medical profession. This is page 1 of 6

Doctor: How did you get here so quickly?
Patient: Flu.

Patient: This morning I was walking across a field and was trampled by some cows.
Doctor: So I herd.

Doctor, doctor. I think that I'm turning into a baby cat.
I think you're just kitten me.

Doctor, doctor, I've got a little sty.
Well you'd better buy a little pig for it then.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a slice of bread.
Doctor: You've need to stop loafing around.

Doctor: Have you ever had this problem before?
Patient: Yes.
Doctor: Well, you've got it again!

Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I keep losing my temper with people.
Doctor: Tell me about your problem.
Patient: I just did, didn't I, you stupid idiot!

Doctor, Doctor I keep seeing an insect spinning in front of my eyes.
Don't worry, it's just a bug that's going around!

Doctor, Doctor everyone keeps calling me a liar.
I can't believe that!

Doctor, Doctor I've just swallowed a pen.
Well sit down and write your name!

A Joke At Random

A little girl went to the Judge and asked to be taken away from her parents ...
Judge: "Little girl, don't you want to live with your Mommy?"
Little Girl: "No, my Mommy beats me."
Judge: "Little girl, don't you want to live with your Daddy?"
Little Girl: "No, my Daddy beats me too."
Judge: "Well little girl, who do you want to live with?"
Little Girl: "I want to live with the Cubs because they never beat anyone!"

You can find more like this in the Jokes About Sports category