Jokes And Funny Stories About Doctors

Jokes and funny stories about doctors and the medical profession. This is page 1 of 6

Doctor, doctor, what's the best cure for water on the knee?
A tap on the ankle.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I've been here before.
Oh, no, not you again.

Doctor, Doctor, what can I do about my broken leg?
Limp.

What did the doctor say to the tonsil?
You look so cute, I would like to take you out.

Doctor: I will examine you for twenty dollars.
Patient: Go ahead Doctor. If you find it you can have it.

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I keep seeing frogs in front of my eyes.
Doctor: Don't worry, it's only a hoptical illusion.

Doctor, doctor. Every time I stand up quickly, I see Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy.
Ok, how long have you been having these Disney spells?

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a 10 Dollar note
Well go and buy something then, the change will do you good.

Doctor, doctor, I think I've gone a funny color.
Nonsense, it's just a pigment of your imagination.

Doctor, doctor, I keep stealing things.
Have you taken anything for it?

A Joke At Random

The machine answering your call is connected to a 5000 volt power supply, and a relay which is wired to a small kitten. If you hang up before you leave a message, it will complete the circuit and will fry the kitty. The choice is YOURS.... BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

You can find more like this in the Answering Machine Messages category