Jokes And Funny Stories About Drunks

Here are some jokes and funny stories about drunks.
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jokes about drunks

I'm not a steady drinker - my hand shakes too much.

A drunk was brought before the court. "Mister," the judge began, "you've been brought here for drinking."
"Great!" the drunk exclaimed. "When do we get started?"

Two drunks were staggering home one night when they passed the local brewery which was lit up. One said 'It's good to know that no matter how much we drink they are still able to supply enough.'
'Maybe,' said his friend, 'but I see that we have them working nights'.

The drunker I sit here, the longer I get.

Ossifer, I swear to drunk I'm not God!

I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk!
Alcoholics go to meetings!

1 Tequila
2 Tequila
3 Tequila
Floor.

Submitted by : Steve

Everybody should believe in something -- I believe I'll have another drink.

I don't have a drinking problem.
I drink
I get drunk
I fall down
No problem

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A Joke At Random

The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer. "I'm going to a lecture." The man said. "And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" The cop asked. "My wife." said the man.

You can find more like this in the Jokes About Marriage category