Jokes About Elephants

Here are a few elephant jokes.

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Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool?
They couldn't keep their trunks up.

Why did the elephants leave the circus?
They were tired of working for peanuts.

Why do elephants have trunks?
Because they don't have glove compartments.

How can you tell if an elephant has been sleeping in your bed?
The bed smells of peanuts and the sheets are wrinkled.

Did you hear about the elephant with diarrhea?
It's all over town.

How do you make a dead elephant float?
Well, you take 10 dead elephants, 10 tonnes of chocolate ice-cream, 5 tonnes of bananas,.....

Q: Why don't elephants like penguins?
A: They can't get the wrapper off.(Too whom it may concern: Penguins are a brand of cookies).

Q: How do you know if there is an elephant under your bed?
A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.

Q: How does an elephant get down from a tree?
A: It doesn't, You get down from a duck.

Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?

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A Joke At Random

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains" I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500!."
Figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his co-workers and friends. All to no avail. After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.
The blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?"
Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.

You can find more like this in the Jokes About Blondes category