Jokes And Funny Stories About Girlfriends

Here are a few jokes and funny stories about girlfriends.

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My new girlfriend is a pretty as a flower.
A cauliflower.

Why is a launderette not a good place to find a girlfriend?
If she cannot even afford to buy her own washing machine, she will never have enough money to support you.

Last night I told my girlfriend that I would go to the end of the world for her, and she said, "Yes but would you stay there?"

My girlfriend has a complexion like a peach.
All yellow and fuzzy.

When I asked my girlfriend if I could see her home she handed me a picture of it.

My girlfriend just saved me a lot of money - she married someone else.

If my girlfriend said what she thought she'd be completely speechless.

One day a man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out.
The genie said, "For your kindness I will grant you a wish, but only one."
The man thought for a minute and said, "I have always wanted to visit Hawaii but have never been able to because I'm afraid of flying and ships make me seasick. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."
The genie thought for a minute and said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved: the pilings needed to hold up the highway, how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement that would be needed. No, that is just too much to ask."
The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, "Well, there is one other thing that I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand my girlfriend. What makes her laugh and cry, why is she temperamental, why is she so difficult to get along with? Basically, what makes her tick?"
The genie considered for a few minutes and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?"

Submitted by : Joe 

Fred: My girlfriend loves nature.
Dave: That's very generous of her, considering what nature has done to her.

Boyfriend: Is that a new perfume I smell?
Girlfriend: It is, and you do!

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A Joke At Random

A fool-proof method for sculpting an elephant: first, get a huge block of marble then you chip away everything that doesn't look like an elephant.

You can find more like this in the Elephant Jokes category