Jokes and Funny Stories about Girlfriends

Here are a few jokes and funny stories about girlfriends.

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Last night my girlfriend said that I am a great wit.
Well, she's half right.

What did the artist say to his girlfriend?
"I love you with all my art."

My girlfriend is just like a fine French Impressionist painting. She's very lovely, but is best appreciated at a distance.

George: My girlfriend has a beautiful pair of eyes, her skin has the glow of a peach, her cheeks are like apples and her lips like cherries.
Fred: Sounds more like a fruit salad to me.

My new girlfriend has lovely long brown hair all down her back. It's just a shame that she doen't have any on her head.

I call my girlfriend 'Laryngitis' because she's a right pain in the neck.

My girlfriend's cooking is just like a good man, hard to keep down.

John: My girlfriend reminds me of a Greek statue.
Dave: You mean she's very beautiful?
John: Yeah, beautiful, but not all there.

What did the undertaker say to his new girlfriend?
Em-balmy about you.

My new girlfriend is a pretty as a flower.
A cauliflower.

A Joke At Random

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

You can find more like this in the Jokes About Men category