Jokes And Funny Stories About Marriage - 2

 

This is page 2 of jokes and funny stories about marriage and married life.

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Fred: Have you ever seen one of those machines that can tell when someone is telling a lie?
Joe: Seen one? I married one!

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I don't need to buy an encyclopedia - my wife knows everything.

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Policeman: I am sorry to have to tell you this Mr Brown, but you wife has just fallen into the wishing well and drowned.
Mr Brown: It works!

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Wife: What do you mean coming home half drunk at this time of night?
Husband: It's not my fault - I ran out of money.

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Husband: Let's go out on the town tonight and have some fun.
Wife: Yeah, but if you get home before me, remember to leave the front door open.

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It first occured to me that our marriage might be in trouble when my wife won an all expenses paid trip for two to Hawaii - and she went twice.

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An insurance salesman was trying to persuade a housewife to buy a life insurance policy. "Just imagine if your husband was to die tomorrow," he said. "What would you get?"
"Oh, a Labrador dog, I think," replied the housewife. "They're so well-behaved.

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My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.

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I still miss my ex-husband - but my aim is getting better.

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Man to marriage counselor: "My wife and I can't agree on our vacation. I want to go to Bermuda and she wants to go with me."

A Joke At Random

Hear about the famous inventors who failed to invent the aeroplane?
They were the Wrong Brothers.

You can find more like this in the Jokes For Children category