Jokes and Funny Stories about Marriage - 2

This is page 2 of jokes and funny stories about marriage and married life.

My wife has a terrible memory - she never forgets anything.

My wife wanted to see the world, so I bought an atlas.

Each year on his wedding anniversary he goes down to City Hall in the hope that his marriage license has expired.

Many a poor husband was once a rich bachelor.

Husband: You have to admit that men have much better judgement than women.
Wife: You're right. You married me and I married you.

Fred: Have you ever seen one of those machines that can tell when someone is telling a lie?
Joe: Seen one? I married one!

I don't need to buy an encyclopedia - my wife knows everything.

Policeman: I am sorry to have to tell you this Mr Brown, but you wife has just fallen into the wishing well and drowned.
Mr Brown: It works!

Wife: What do you mean coming home half drunk at this time of night?
Husband: It's not my fault - I ran out of money.

Husband: Let's go out on the town tonight and have some fun.
Wife: Yeah, but if you get home before me, remember to leave the front door open.

A Joke At Random

How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five. One to screw it in and four to write the environmental impact statement.

You can find more like this in the Changing Lightbulbs Jokes category