Jokes and Funny Stories about Marriage - 8

 

This is page 8 of jokes and funny stories about marriage.

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Don't marry for money...You can borrow it cheaper.

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The kindest thing I can say about my wife is that her in-laws are a lot nicer than mine.

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Last weekend my credit card was stolen but I decided not to report it because the thief is spending less than my wife does.

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A farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost. "$10 for 3 minutes," replied the pilot. "That's too much," said the farmer. The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay $10." The farmer and his wife agreed and went for a wild ride. After they landed, the pilot said to the farmer, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a brave man." "Maybe so," said the farmer, "But I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out."

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What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.

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MABEL: When I'm old and ugly, will you still love me?
PERCY: I do, don't I?

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Bill: Today is my wife's birthday.
Phil: What are you getting for her?
Bill: Make me an offer!

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A HUSBAND: The man who knows he is in charge, and has his wife's permission to say so.

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A FATHER: The man who has complete command, most of the time, of the dog.

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When a man was reading the newspaper, his wife asked, "Will you still love me when I'm old and gray?" "Sure I do," he mumbled.

A Joke At Random

If brains were dynamite, he couldn't blow his nose.

You can find more like this in the Insults category