Jokes And Funny Stories About Marriage - 8

This is page 8 of jokes and funny stories about marriage.

MABEL: When I'm old and ugly, will you still love me?
PERCY: I do, don't I?

Bill: Today is my wife's birthday.
Phil: What are you getting for her?
Bill: Make me an offer!

A HUSBAND: The man who knows he is in charge, and has his wife's permission to say so.

A FATHER: The man who has complete command, most of the time, of the dog.

When a man was reading the newspaper, his wife asked, "Will you still love me when I'm old and gray?" "Sure I do," he mumbled.

A man had a wife who was a terrible cook - she just served frozen food day after day. Eventually the husband went to his doctor and explained his problem. 'And what's the trouble?' asked the doctor. 'Ulcers?' 'No, frostbite.'

'Are you married?'
'No, I've always been round-shouldered.'

Marriage is based on the theory that when a man discovers a particular brand of beer exactly to his taste, he should at once throw up his job and go to work in the brewery.

Printed in a newspaper - Hugh and Ruth went to grammar school together and their marriage will stop a romance begun between them there.

Printed in a newspaper - The marriage of Miss Anna Bloch and Mr William Dashwood, which was announced in this paper a few weeks ago, was a mistake and we wish to correct it.

A Joke At Random

How do you leave a message on this thing? I can't understand the instructions. Hello. Testing 1 2 3. I wonder what happens if I touch this...YOW!!

You can find more like this in the Answering Machine Messages category