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Jokes About Marriage - Page 1

Here is our selection of jokes and funny stories about marriage and married life.
jokes about marriage


This is page 1 of 10.


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My wife is a great lover - of cream cakes.

Submitted by: Rob

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Fred: I want to marry a smart woman, a good woman, a woman who'll make me happy.
George: Well, you'll have to make up your mind which one of those you want.

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The two men had been introduced at a party and were sitting in silence, amid the noise of the celebrations, sipping their drinks.
After a few minutes one of them said, "You may have noticed that I'm a man of few words."
"Yes, I'm married too," the other man quietly replied.

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Mary: I hear that you have a model husband?
Joan: It's true he really is a model husband - unfortunately he's not a working model.

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Bob: I don't know what to do about my wife.
Fred: What's wrong with her?
Bob: It's her memory.
Fred: You mean she can't remember anything?
Bob: No, she remembers everything.

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The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep. "Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am," he said politely, "but every morning I pass your house on my way to work, and couldn't help noticing that every day you hit your husband on the head with a loaf of bread."
"That's right."
"Every day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake."
"Well, today is his birthday."

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Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.

Submitted by: Billy

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A married man should always forget his mistakes.
There's no use two people remembering the same things.

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Fred: Did you meet your wife at the airport yesterday?
Joe: No, I met her at a dance about ten years ago.

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I am the master in my own house - the doghouse.


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