Jokes And Funny Stories About Pets - 3

This is page 3 of jokes and funny stories about pets.

By the way did you hear about the St Bernard that went up a mountain in a storm to take some brandy to a climber who was lost? Well, they thought he was a goner, because he was gone for a few days, but all of a sudden he turned up again with a note round his neck. It said, 'I enjoyed the brandy very much. Can you send up the rest of the bottle?'

Why is your cat so small?
He only drinks condensed milk.

'I call my pet Tiny,' said Peter.
'Why do you call him Tiny?' asked one of his friends.
'Because he's my newt.'

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A Joke At Random

Wee Hughie came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. "What's the story this time. Hughie ?" he asked sarcastically." Let's hear a good excuse for a change.
"Wee Hughie sighed, "Everything went wrong this morning. The wife decided to drive me to the harbour. She got ready in ten minutes, but then the ferry didn't turn up.
Rather than let you down, I swam across the river, ran over the mountain, borrowed a bicycle and cycled the 20 miles through the glen to this office."
You'll have to do better than that. Hughie, "said his boss, disappointed. "No woman can be ready in ten minutes."

You can find more like this in the Scottish Jokes category