Jokes and Funny Stories about Politicians - 3

This is page 3 of jokes and funny stories about politics and politicians.

If voting could change the system, it would be illegal.
If not voting could change the system, it would be illegal.

Nobody can fix the economy.
Nobody can be trusted with their finger on the button.
Nobody's perfect.
VOTE FOR NOBODY!

A Senator, a clergyman, and a Boy Scout were passengers in a small plane that developed engine trouble. The pilot announced, "We'll have to bail out. Unfortunately, there are only three parachutes. I have a wife and seven small children. My family needs me. I'm taking one of the parachutes and jumping out!" And he jumped. Then the Senator said, "I am the smartest politician in the world. The country needs me I'm taking one of the parachutes." And he jumped. The clergyman said to the Boy Scout, "I've had a good life and yours is still ahead of you. You take the last parachute." The youth shrugged and said, "Don't need to. There are two parachutes left. The smartest politician in the world just jumped with my knapsack!"

Why is it that political leaders don't seem to have all the answers until they write their memoirs?

The trouble with political jokes is they get elected.

The government claims it's following the will of the people. I didn't even know we'd died!

Statesmen tell you what is true even though it may be unpopular. Politicians will tell you what is popular, even though it may be untrue.

Politics is the art of making it sound as if Father Christmas comes earlier in the year.

Make your M.P. work - don't re-elect him.

If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal.

A Joke At Random

In school I was the teacher's pet.
She couldn't afford a dog.

You can find more like this in the Education category