Jokes And Funny Stories For Children - 10

This is page 10 of jokes and funny stories for children.

My friend said, 'That bloke over there thinks he's a pack of cards.'
My brother said, 'I'll have to deal with him later.'

John said, 'That bloke up at the tea counter thinks he's a snooker ball.'
My brother said, 'Ah, so that's why he's at the end of the queue.

Did you hear about this cowboy whose dog fell over a cliff?
He said, 'Dawg gone.'

Did you hear about the man who kept thinking he was Dracula?
He was a pain in the neck.

And did you hear about the smuggler that saw a ghost?
It was the ghostguard.

My brother saw a witch riding on a broomstick. He said, 'What are you doing on that?'
The witch said, 'My best friend's got the vacuum cleaner.'

Did you hear about the vampire that swallowed a sheep?
He said he felt baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.

My mum went rushing to the doctor in a panic. She said, 'Doctor my little girl's swallowed my pen.'
The doctor said,' 'Don't worry you can borrow mine.'

My dad said, 'My leg, my leg, it's agony.' My mum said, 'That's entirely due to old age.'
My dad said, 'Well my other leg's just as old and that doesn't hurt.'

My mum was in hospital, and the doctor said, 'Listen, I want you to drink a Guinness after your bath every day.'
My mum said, 'If I drink my bath I won't have room for a Guinness.'

A Joke At Random
Waiter to customer: "I know your steak is frozen. I told you it would melt in your mouth, didn't I?"
You can find more like this in the Jokes About Restaurants & Food category

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