Jokes And Funny Stories For Children - 13

This is page 13 of jokes and funny stories for children.

My brother said, 'l've brought you home a present. It's a wombat.'
I said, 'What's a wombat for?'
He said, 'A good game of wom.'

Did you hear what happened when the ghosts went on strike?
A skeleton staff took over.

What did they say to Julius Caesar When he went into a pub?
'Ale, Caesar?'

Did you hear about the prisoner who talked very slowly?
He took twentyfive years to finish a sentence.

My brother said to my mum, 'It's not fair. I was just about to fight Johnny Jenkins when my sister threw rotten eggs at me.'
My mum said 'Lucy, what did you do that for?'
She said, 'I was egging him on.'

My uncle was talking to this egg. He said, 'I'm ever so sorry little egg but I'm about to fry you.'
The egg said, 'Are you having me on?'
My uncle said, 'Of course I am. I'm having you on toast.'

My uncle said, 'I wonder what'll happen if I feed gunpowder to my chickens?'
I said, 'You'll probably get an eggsplosion.'

This girl cannibal took her boyfriend home to meet her mum. She said, 'Mum, what do you think of him?'
Her mum said, 'Lovely dear. He looks good enough to eat.'

My mum and dad went into this restaurant. They said, 'Waiter, have you got spaghetti on the menu?'
The waiter said, 'Looks like it. I'll get a cloth and wipe it off.'

My brother went to the doctor. He said, 'I feel like a bar of soap.
The doctor said, 'That's life, boy.'

A Joke At Random
A man was walking down the street with a baby ape in his arms when a friend stopped him and asked what he was doing with the chimp. "I just bought this ape as a pet. We have no children so he's going to live with us - just like one of the family. He'll eat at the same table with us. He'll even sleep in the same bed with me and my wife."
"But what about the smell?" the friend asked.
"Oh, he'll just have to get used to it, the same way I did."
You can find more like this in the Animal Jokes category

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