Jokes And Funny Stories For Children - 18

This is page 18 of jokes and funny stories for children.

What's thick and black and comes out of the ground and shouts 'Knickers!'
Crude oil.

What's thick and black and comes out of the ground and shouts 'Underwear!'
Refined oil.

What's yellow, hot and highly dangerous?
Shark-infested custard.

Why did the skeleton refuse to go to the monsters' party?
Because he knew no body would dance with him.

Why did the human cannon ball consider himself a failure?
Because he was always being fired.

We all know why the chicken crossed the road (for some reason, I'm sure), and the turkey crossed the road because it was the chicken's day off, but do you know why the hedgehog crossed the road?
To join his flat mates.

What do you get if you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?
Hot cross bunnies.

Boy to girl: Wow! You look like a million dollars.
Girl: Do you really think so?
Boy: Yes, you're all green and wrinkly.

Teacher to Pupil: What do you get if you divide 2365 by 37?
Pupil: The wrong answer, I expect, Miss.

Highway man to traveller: Your money or your life!
Traveller: Take my life, I'm saving up.

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