Jokes and Funny Stories For Children - 18

This is page 18 of jokes and funny stories for children.

And what's vicious, Victorian and lives at the bottom of the sea?
Jack the Kipper.

What's thick and black and comes out of the ground and shouts 'Knickers!'
Crude oil.

What's thick and black and comes out of the ground and shouts 'Underwear!'
Refined oil.

What's yellow, hot and highly dangerous?
Shark-infested custard.

Why did the skeleton refuse to go to the monsters' party?
Because he knew no body would dance with him.

Why did the human cannon ball consider himself a failure?
Because he was always being fired.

We all know why the chicken crossed the road (for some reason, I'm sure), and the turkey crossed the road because it was the chicken's day off, but do you know why the hedgehog crossed the road?
To join his flat mates.

What do you get if you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?
Hot cross bunnies.

Boy to girl: Wow! You look like a million dollars.
Girl: Do you really think so?
Boy: Yes, you're all green and wrinkly.

Teacher to Pupil: What do you get if you divide 2365 by 37?
Pupil: The wrong answer, I expect, Miss.

A Joke At Random

Did you hear about the man from London who became very thirsty when he went to visit his relatives in Vancouver?
He drank Canada Dry.

You can find more like this in the Did You Hear? category