Jokes And Funny Stories For Children - 5

This is page 5 of jokes and funny stories for children.

How do you make a sausage roll?
Push it.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.

How does Batman's wife call him for dinner?
Dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner - Batman!

A man and a giraffe walked into a bar. The man asked for a drink and one for the giraffe. They drank it and had another one, then another and another. The man got up and went to walk out, the giraffe tried to follow and fell over. The bar man said don't leave that lying round here and the man said, it's not a lion, its a giraffe.

What is the most popular sentence at school?
I don't know.

What did the egg in the monastery say?
'Out of the frying-pan, into the friar.'

There was an English man a Irish man and a Scottish man. They went to a funfair and they all wanted to go on a magic slide. So when they got there, the man said whatever you say going down the slide you will land in, so the English man went down and said Gold. Then the Scottish man went down and said Silver, then the irish man went down but wasn't listening so went down and said weeeeeeee and landed in a pot of wee!!! Ha ha Ha Boom Boom

Submitted by : Rosie,Emzie and Dannie 

Laura woke up late for school, she was 10 minutes late. She rushed into school. Her teacher asked her, why are you so late, and Laura replied, "oh did I miss something?"

Submitted by : Sonia Timberlake 

"My old Dad told me, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them.
It's either my mum or my dad.
Or my older brother Colin.
Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu.
But I think it's Colin."

How do you stop moles digging up your garden?
Hide the spades.

Page 1 | Page 2 | Page 3 | Page 4 | Page 5 | Page 6 | Page 7 | Page 8 | Page 9 | Page 10 | Page 11
Page 12 | Page 13 | Page 14 | Page 15 | Page 16 | Page 17 | Page 18 | Page 19

A Joke At Random

A couple of boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bush's jumped the Game Warden!
Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods, and hot on his heels came the Game Warden...
After about a half mile the boy stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thigh's to catch his breath and the Game Warden finally caught up with him...
"Lets see yer fishin license, Boy!" the Warden gasped..
With that, the boy pulled out his wallet and gave the Game Warden a valid fishing license..
"Well, son", said the Game Warden, "You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license!"
"Yes Sir", replied the young feller," But my friend back there, well, he don't have one"...

You can find more like this in the British Humour category