Jokes and Funny Stories For Children - 7

This is page 7 of jokes and funny stories for children.

My uncle said, 'I saw this film about these cows who took over a ship, and they cast the captain adrift in an open boat.'
I said, 'That's amazing. What was the film called?'
My uncle said, 'Moo-tiny on the Bounty.

What did they say to King Harold at the battle of Hastings?
Cor! Get an eyeful of those arrows!

What do spotty people go riding in?
Acne carriages.

What flies through the jungle singing opera?
The parrots of Penzance.

Where does Tarzan buy his underpants?
In a jungle sale.

How did Quasimodo know the end was near?
He had a hunch.

And which really horrible Mother Superior went all over Europe beating people up?
Attila the Nun.

My brother said, 'I've got this awful job down on the farm. I'm up to my elbows in manure all day.'
I said, 'Well at least it'll stop you biting your nails.'

My uncle said, 'I've got this woodpecker with no beak. What shall I call him?'
I said, 'A headbanger.

My dad said to me, 'Son, today I fought off the powers of darkness.'
I said, 'How did you do that?'
He said, 'I paid the electricity bill.'

A Joke At Random

We the willing,
Led by the unknowing,
Are doing the impossible,
For the ungrateful.
And have done so much
With so little
For so long,
That we are now capable of doing anything
With nothing.

You can find more like this in the Miscellaneous Jokes category