Miscellaneous Jokes and Funny Stories - 3

 

This is page 3 of miscellaneous jokes and funny stories.

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I'm so homesick.
But this is your home.
I know, and I'm sick of it.

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Two contestants on a TV game show were in the final round. Mr. Cohn was way ahead of Mr. Schine, but just as the buzzer was rung, Schine slipped ahead, and won! When asked what prize he wanted, he stated that he wanted a horse. The game show host asked why, and was told : I want a horse so I can name it 'Harvest Moon.' Then I can have a portrait painted, and call it "Schine on Harvest Moon."

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Q. Why where the Indians the first people in America?
A. They had reservations.

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Dracula met Frankenstein in the street one day. Drackie says to Frankie "You know, you're better than all my friends put together.......Come to think of it, you ARE all my friends put together!"

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Indian Chief Shortcake died, so squaw bury Shortcake.

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A prospector marched into an assayer's office and planted two huge gold nuggets on the counter. "Well, don't just stand there, assay something!"

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An Uncle died, left several hundred clocks to a niece, she's busy winding up the estate.

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Max told his friend he didn't want to go for a hike in the hills.
"I'm an anti-climb Max."

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A man was reading The Canterbury Tales at breakfast one saturday morning.
His wife asked "What have you got there?"
"Just my cup and Chaucer."

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The judge fined the offender fifty dollars and told him if he was caught again, he would be thrown in jail. Fine today, cooler tomorrow.

A Joke At Random

If he ever had a bright idea, it would be beginner's luck!

You can find more like this in the Insults category