Miscellaneous Jokes And Funny Stories

These are the jokes and funny stories which do not fit in any of the other categories.

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I drank eight cokes and burped 7-up

I used to work as a glass blower, but had to give it up as it gave me a pane.

Good turns make me dizzy

A man was sitting on a bus chewing gum and staring vacantly into space. Suddenly the old woman sitting opposite him said, "It's no good you talking to me young man, I'm stone deaf."

Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.

According to a recent survey by the Academy of Incomplete Research, nine out of ten people are

I'm so homesick.
But this is your home.
I know, and I'm sick of it.

Two contestants on a TV game show were in the final round. Mr. Cohn was way ahead of Mr. Schine, but just as the buzzer was rung, Schine slipped ahead, and won! When asked what prize he wanted, he stated that he wanted a horse. The game show host asked why, and was told : I want a horse so I can name it 'Harvest Moon.' Then I can have a portrait painted, and call it "Schine on Harvest Moon."

Q. Why where the Indians the first people in America?
A. They had reservations.

Dracula met Frankenstein in the street one day. Drackie says to Frankie; "You know, you're better than all my friends put together.......Come to think of it, you ARE all my friends put together!"

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