Office Jokes And Humor - 4

 

This is page 4 of our collection of office jokes and humor.

---

Don't Miss This Opportunity
Are you interested in making $$$$ fast?
Here's an incredibly simple way to do it and there is nothing to buy, no investment to make, no money to lose!
TRY it now!
Follow this simple procedure:
1. Open a new text or word document
2. Hold down the shift key.
3. Hit the 4 key four times.

---

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young programmer, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The programmer said, "In the neighborhood of $150,000 a year, depending on the benefit's package."
The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"
The programmer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?"
And the HR Person said, "Certainly, ...but you started it."

---

Don't ask me I was hired for my looks.

---

Q: What do you say to an Arts graduate with a job?
A: I'll have a hamburger please.

---

The usefulness of a meeting is inversely proportional to its attendance.

---

You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You are not paid enough to worry.

---

THE BOSS'S BASIC RULES

Rule 1: The Boss is always right!
Rule 2: In the impossible hypothesis that a subordinate may be right, becomes immediately operative.
Rule 3: The boss does not sleep he rests.
Rule 4: The Boss is never late he is delayed elsewhere.
Rule 5: The Boss never leaves his work his attention is required elsewhere.
Rule 6: The Boss never reads the paper in his office he studies.
Rule 7: The Boss is always chief, even in his bathing togs.
Rule 8: Whomsoever may enter the boss's office with an idea of his own must leave the office with the boss's ideas.
Rule 9: If, in your lamentable ignorance, you fail to grasp the truth, fear not return to rule 1.

---

Too few of the bucks stop here.

---

If you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly.

---

Work fascinates me. I can sit and watch it for hours.

A Joke At Random

Did you hear about the cannibal lion?
He had to swallow his pride.

You can find more like this in the Cannibal Jokes category