Office Jokes And Humor - 4

This is page 4 of our collection of office jokes and humor.

Don't ask me I was hired for my looks.

Q: What do you say to an Arts graduate with a job?
A: I'll have a hamburger please.

The usefulness of a meeting is inversely proportional to its attendance.

You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You are not paid enough to worry.

THE BOSS'S BASIC RULES

Rule 1: The Boss is always right!
Rule 2: In the impossible hypothesis that a subordinate may be right, becomes immediately operative.
Rule 3: The boss does not sleep he rests.
Rule 4: The Boss is never late he is delayed elsewhere.
Rule 5: The Boss never leaves his work his attention is required elsewhere.
Rule 6: The Boss never reads the paper in his office he studies.
Rule 7: The Boss is always chief, even in his bathing togs.
Rule 8: Whomsoever may enter the boss's office with an idea of his own must leave the office with the boss's ideas.
Rule 9: If, in your lamentable ignorance, you fail to grasp the truth, fear not return to rule 1.

Too few of the bucks stop here.

If you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly.

Work fascinates me. I can sit and watch it for hours.

When in charge, ponder. When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

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A Joke At Random

Postman: Is this letter for you? The name is smudged.
Man: No, it can't be for me, my name is Smith.

You can find more like this in the British Humour category