Office Jokes And Humor

Here is our collection of office jokes and humor. This is page 1 of 5

Have you noticed that your boss is the only one who watches the clock during the coffee break.

I like my job; it's the work I hate.

We call our boss caterpillar.
He got where he is by crawling.

The manager started his speech at 10 a.m. sharp and ended at 11 a.m. dull.

I overheard two dissatisfied colleagues talking today, one was saying that he was going to work for Euro Disney because he was fed up with his present job and wanted to work for a real Mickey Mouse Operation.

My boss didn't come into work today. He called this morning and said he was having a vision problem. When I asked what was wrong, he replied, "I just can't see myself at work today."

You can name your own salary here. I call mine Fred.

We the unwilling, led by the unqualified, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful.

If at first you don't succeed, have you considered becoming a personnel officer?

Performance Reviews

"Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom.....and has started to dig."

"His men would follow him anywhere...but only out of morbid curiosity."

"This employee is really not so much of a 'has-been', but more of a definite 'won't be'."

"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

"He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

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A Joke At Random

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer.
"If I lose this case, I'll be ruined."
"It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer.
"Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?"
"Oh no! This judge is a stickler on ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in contempt of court. In fact, you shouldn't even smile at the judge."
Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant.
As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, "Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It worked!"
"I'm sure we would have lost the case if you'd sent them."
"But, I did send them."
"What? You did?" said the lawyer, incredulously.
"Yes. That's how we won the case."
"I don't understand," said the lawyer.
"It's easy. I sent the cigars to the judge, but enclosed the plaintiff's business card."

You can find more like this in the Lawyers category