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Random Jokes and Funny Stories


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A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat. He stopped the car and asked, "Why, Johnny, this wouldn't be your new beat out here in the sticks, would it?"
"That it is," Johnny replied grimly, "ever since I arrested the judge on his way to the masquerade ball."
"You mean you pinched his honor?" asked Pat.
"How was I to know that his convict suit was only a costume?" demanded Johnny.
"Well," mused Pat, "'tis life and there's a lesson in this somewhere."
"That there is," replied Johnny. "'Tis wise never to book a judge by his cover."

Located in the Police section


Q: On what side of a building does the sun always shine?
A: The outside.

Located in the Miscellaneous section

What Do?

What do you get if you cross a tourist and an elephant?
Something that carries it's own trunk.

Located in the What Do? section


Have you ever been to the local zoo?
I mean as a visitor?

Located in the Insults section


What happened to the first 6 "ups"?

Located in the Questions section

Knock Knock

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Thistle who?
Thistle teach you not to ask stupid questions.

Located in the Knock Knock section


You're outstanding in your field, and that's where you should be - out standing in your field.

Located in the Insults section


Last night I told my girlfriend that I would go to the end of the world for her, and she said, "Yes but would you stay there?"

Located in the Girlfriends section

How Do?

How do you post a rabbit?
By hare mail.

Located in the How Do? section