5 Random Jokes And Funny Stories

John: My girlfriend reminds me of a Greek statue.
Dave: You mean she's very beautiful?
John: Yeah, beautiful, but not all there.

Located in the Girlfriends section
Added: 05-11-2010

What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot?
A bite in shining armour.

Located in the What Do? section
Added: 11-29-2006

"Hello, this is Dave. (pause) Hello? Hello!!? Nah, just kidding. This is an answering machine.

Located in the Answering Machine Messages section
Added: 12-12-2004

How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?
Six - one to do all the work and five to write a song about how good the old one was.

Located in the Changing Lightbulbs Jokes section
Added: 12-12-2004

My physchiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him "If you don't mind I'd like a second opion. "He said "Alright .. you're ugly too."

Located in the Psychiatrist Jokes section
Added: 02-11-2005

A Joke At Random

The friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise the funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him.
He asked his mother to go and ask the friars to get out of the business. They ignored her too.
So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town, to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close shop! Terrified, the friars did so, thereby proving that...
Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

You can find more like this in the Miscellaneous Jokes category