5 Random Jokes And Funny Stories

How many PESSIMISTS does it take to change a light-bulb?
"What's the point? It'll only blow again."

Located in the Changing Lightbulbs Jokes section
Added: 11-10-2003

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fanta.
Fanta who?
Fanta Claus.

Located in the Knock Knock Jokes section
Added: 12-08-2006

Once upon a time there was a famous sea captain. This captain was very successful at what he did for years he guided merchant ships all over the world. Never did stormy seas or pirates get the best of him. He was admired by his crew and fellow captains.
However, there was one thing different about this captain. Every morning he went through a strange ritual. He would lock himself in his captain's quarters and open a small safe. In the safe was an envelope with a piece of paper inside. He would stare at the paper for a minute, then lock it back up. After, he would go about his daily duties. For years this went on, and his crew became very curious. Was it a treasure map? Was it a letter from a long lost love? Everyone speculated the contents of the strange envelope.
One day the captain died at sea. After laying the captain's body to rest, the first mate led the entire crew into the captains quarters. He opened the safe, got the envelope, opened it and...
The first mate turned pale and showed the paper to the others. Four words were on the paper, two on two lines:
``Port Left Starboard Right''

Located in the British Humour section
Added: 02-13-2005

Hear about the famous inventors who failed to invent the aeroplane?
They were the Wrong Brothers.

Located in the Jokes For Children section
Added: 09-21-2003

Beam me up, Scotty. There's no intelligent life down here. - J.T. Kirk

Located in the Miscellaneous Jokes section
Added: 02-11-2005

A Joke At Random

It's time to play "What's Your Business" starring you, the caller. That's right, you get to leave your name and number on this amazing machine! But that's not all, if you leave a brief message and the time that you called, you could win our fabulous Grand Prize, a RETURN CALL! Good luck, and here's the beep.

You can find more like this in the Answering Machine Messages category