Recently Added Jokes And Funny Stories

These are the most recently added jokes and funny stories.

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Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Danielle.
Danielle who?
Danielle at me, it's not my fault.

Located in the Knock Knock Jokes section

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Moose.
Moose who?
Moose you keep asking so many questions?

Located in the Knock Knock Jokes section

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Almond.
Almond who?
Almond the side of the law.

Located in the Knock Knock Jokes section

Why did Mrs Grape leave Mr Grape?
Because she was tired of raisin kids.

Located in the Why Did? section

Why did the belt get sent to prison?
Because it held up a pair of trousers.

Located in the Jokes For Children 2 section

Why did the skeleton laugh?
Because it had a funny bone.

Located in the Why Did? section

What goes up but never comes down?
Your age.

Located in the Questions section

What international award might you win if you reduce your weight by 40lbs?
The Nobelly Prize.

Located in the Miscellaneous Jokes section

My new dog is very obedient. When I say 'heel' he always bites me on the heel.

Located in the Jokes About Pets section
Submitted by : Shirley 

We have just had a blessed event in our house - my mother-in-law has just gone back to her own house.

Located in the Mother-in-law Jokes section
Submitted by : Robert 

A Joke At Random

In a surprise announcement today, Microsoft President Steve Ballmer revealed that the Redmond-based company will allow computer resellers and end-users to customize the appearance of the Blue Screen of Death (BSOD), the screen that displays when the Windows operating system crashes.
The move comes as the result of numerous focus groups and customer surveys done by Microsoft. Thousands of Microsoft customers were asked, "What do you spend the most time doing on your computer?"
A surprising number of respondents said, "Staring at a Blue Screen of Death." At 54 percent, it was the top answer, beating the second place answer "Downloading XXXScans" by an easy 12 points.
"We immediately recognized this as a great opportunity for ourselves, our channel partners, and especially our customers," explained the excited Ballmer to a room full of reporters.
Immense video displays were used to show images of the new customizable BSOD screen side-by-side with the older static version. Users can select from a collection of "BSOD Themes," allowing them to instead have a Mauve Screen of Death or even a Paisley Screen of Death. Graphics and multimedia content can now be incorporated into the screen, making the BSOD the perfect conduit for delivering product information and entertainment to Windows users.
The BSOD is by far the most recognized feature of the Windows operating system, and as a result, Microsoft has historically insisted on total control over its look and feel. This recent departure from that policy reflects Microsoft's recognition of the Windows desktop itself as the "ultimate information portal." By default, the new BSOD will be configured to show a random selection of Microsoft product information whenever the system crashes. Microsoft channel partners can negotiate with Microsoft for the right to customize the BSOD on systems they ship.
Major computer resellers such as Compaq, Gateway, and Dell are already lining up for premier placement on the new and improved BSOD. Ballmer concluded by getting a dig in against the Open Source community. "This just goes to show that Microsoft continues to innovate at a much faster pace than open source. I have yet to see any evidence that Linux even has a BSOD, let alone a customizable one."

You can find more like this in the Computer Programmer & Users category