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The Joke of the Day

On this page you will find todays 'Joke of the Day' plus the listings for the last seven days. There is a different joke every day of the year.

You will also be able to view the archive from past weeks.

The Joke of the day for Thursday, May 25th, 2017

What did the panda take with him on vacation?
Just the bear necessities.

The Joke of the Day Archive

This is our archive where you can view previous 'Joke of the Day' listings.

Here is page 1 of our archive and it currently covers from Thursday, May 18th, 2017 to Wednesday, May 24th, 2017.

There are 12 pages in this archive and each page covers seven days.

The Joke of the day for Wednesday, May 24th, 2017

"Who's been eating my porridge?" asked baby bear.
"Who's been eating my porridge?" asked mother bear.
"Burp" said father bear.

The Joke of the day for Tuesday, May 23rd, 2017

Mother: Oh dear, I can hear your baby brother crying. I guess that he needs changing.
Lucy: Well if you're going to change him, can you change him for a puppy?

The Joke of the day for Monday, May 22nd, 2017

What do you get if you cross a thief with an orchestra?
Robbery with violins.

The Joke of the day for Sunday, May 21st, 2017

Did you hear about the man who thought Bob Marley and the Wailers were the sailors who caught Moby Dick?

The Joke of the day for Saturday, May 20th, 2017

How does an elephant get down from a tree?
It doesn't, You get down from a duck.

The Joke of the day for Friday, May 19th, 2017

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend awake. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars." Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent."

The Joke of the day for Thursday, May 18th, 2017

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi.

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