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The Joke of the Day

On this page you will find todays 'Joke of the Day' plus the listings for the last seven days. There is a different joke every day of the year.

You will also be able to view the archive from past weeks.

The Joke of the day for Monday, September 25th, 2017

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I can't stop eating cheese and biscuits.
Doctor: You must be crackers.

The Joke of the Day Archive

This is our archive where you can view previous 'Joke of the Day' listings.

Here is page 1 of our archive and it currently covers from Monday, September 18th, 2017 to Sunday, September 24th, 2017.

There are 12 pages in this archive and each page covers seven days.

The Joke of the day for Sunday, September 24th, 2017

Office Boy: The boss is starting to take notice of me.
Secretary: How's that?
Office Boy: This morning he asked me if I worked here.

The Joke of the day for Saturday, September 23rd, 2017

Did you hear about the idiot who thought that the Cote d'Azur was a blue jacket?

The Joke of the day for Friday, September 22nd, 2017

HOW TO KNOW YOUR GROWING OLD:
1. Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
2. Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
3. You get winded playing chess.
4. You look forward to a dull evening.
5. You turn out the light for economic rather then romantic reasons.
6. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
7. Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
8. Dialing long distance wears you out.
9. Your back goes out more than you do.
10. You sink youe teeth into a steak and they stay there.
11. A fortune teller offers to read your face.
12. You got too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
13. Your children look middle aged.
14. You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.

The Joke of the day for Thursday, September 21st, 2017

Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a mountain.
Well you do look a little peaky.

The Joke of the day for Wednesday, September 20th, 2017

Lady Customer: Can I try on that dress in the window?
Assistant: If you really want to, but I think it would be better if you tried it on in the changing room.

The Joke of the day for Tuesday, September 19th, 2017

Why did Karl Marx drink instant tea?
Because all proper tea is theft.

The Joke of the day for Monday, September 18th, 2017

What do the guests do at a cannibal wedding?
They toast the bride and groom.

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