Home / Jokes About Vacations - Page 1

Jokes About Vacations - Page 1

Here is our selection of jokes and funny stories about holidays and vacations.



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The one good thing you can say about the food in our vacation hotel is that at least they're considerate enough to give you only small portions.
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There are always fortune-tellers at the seaside. Two of them met on the front at Frinton one sunny summer day. 'Lovely weather,' said the first fortune-teller. 'Yes,' said the second. 'It reminds me of the summer of 2020.'
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I went on vacation last week. What a week it was. Only rained twice - once for three days, once for four.
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'Excuse me,' said the guest, 'but this steak is so tough I can't even cut it. Take it away and bring me another.'
'I can't take it away,' said the landlady. 'You've bent it.'
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A holidaymaker was complaining to his landlady about his room. 'Look. This wall's so thin you can almost see through it.'
'That's not a wall,' she replied, 'it's the window.'
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A man arrived at his holiday guest-house and met the landlady.
'Can you sing?' she snapped.
'No,' he replied.
'Well, you'd better learn quickly. There's no lock on the bathroom door.'

Submitted by: John


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