Home / British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories / British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories - Page 15

British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories - Page 15

More of our British style of humour

This is page 15 of 16.

Coincide: What you do when it starts to rain!
Bacteria: The rear portion of the cafeteria!
Acoustic: Instrument used in billiards!
"Who was that lady I seen you with last night?"
"You mean 'I saw.'"
"Ok, who was that eyesore I seen you with last night?"
Customer: I'd like a pair of stockings for my wife.
Storekeeper: Sheer?
Customer: No, she's at home.
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic?
About half way.
My brother said, 'You'd better know from the start that my favourite food is trash and onions.'
The girl said, 'Tripe.'
He said, 'Don't start arguing before we're married.'
There was me and my brother, in this cottage in the country, all on our own in the dead of night. My brother said, 'What was that noise? I thought I heard an owl.'
I said, 'You probably did. I stepped on the dog's paw.'
This nurse was learning first aid. The sister said, 'Nurse, imagine a man's been brought in after an accident and he's bleeding badly. What's the first thing you'd do?'
The nurse said. 'Faint.'
My brother was up in court last week. The judge said, 'What is this man charged with?' The policeman said, 'He opened a shop sir.'
The judge said, 'And what is wrong with opening a shop?'
The policeman said, 'Well it wasn't his shop sir.'

You are currently on page 15 of 16

First Previous 15 16 Next Last