This is page 20 of 20. Showing jokes 191 to 196
A poor little East End kid was taken away to the country for his first holiday and as he got out of the train at his destination he looked around in bewilderment. 'Blimeyl What a lot of grass to keep off.'
Two seagulls were flying over the beach at a seaside resort one boiling hot August Bank Holiday afternoon. Every way they looked, there were so many people there wasn't a speck of sand to be seen.
'Ah,' said one to the other contemptuously, 'takes all the skill out of it, doesn't it?'
King Henry VIII called in the executioner.
He said, 'What do you charge to do an execution?'
The executioner said, 'A pound sir.'
The King said, 'And what if I wanted to have all my six wives done at the same time?'
The executioner said, 'Well in that case it'd be 60p a head.'
Why do elephants have big ears?
Because Noddy won't pay the ransom.
A man once walked into a shop which sold musical instruments and bought a very expensive mouthorgan. As the shopkeeper wrapped up the purchase he said, 'You know is this is quite amazing. We normally don't sell many mouth organs, but this is the second one I've sold today.
'Oh,' said the customer, 'that must have been our Monka.'
Two men met each other on the beach at Majorca.
One looked at the other and asked, 'Are you brown from the sun?'
'No,' replied the other, 'I'm Smith from The Times.'
Here are some randomly selected jokes from other categories
A politician is someone who shakes your hand before an election and your confidence after it.
Why was the daddy pig angry with his piglets?
They called him an old boar.
Old dieters never die, they just waist away.
I don't eat snails - I only eat fast food.
Half a mind is a terrible thing to waste!
Why do ducks look so sad?
Because when they preen their feathers they get down in the mouth.
