This is page 20 of 20. Showing jokes 191 to 196
A poor little East End kid was taken away to the country for his first holiday and as he got out of the train at his destination he looked around in bewilderment. 'Blimeyl What a lot of grass to keep off.'
Two seagulls were flying over the beach at a seaside resort one boiling hot August Bank Holiday afternoon. Every way they looked, there were so many people there wasn't a speck of sand to be seen.
'Ah,' said one to the other contemptuously, 'takes all the skill out of it, doesn't it?'
King Henry VIII called in the executioner.
He said, 'What do you charge to do an execution?'
The executioner said, 'A pound sir.'
The King said, 'And what if I wanted to have all my six wives done at the same time?'
The executioner said, 'Well in that case it'd be 60p a head.'
Why do elephants have big ears?
Because Noddy won't pay the ransom.
A man once walked into a shop which sold musical instruments and bought a very expensive mouthorgan. As the shopkeeper wrapped up the purchase he said, 'You know is this is quite amazing. We normally don't sell many mouth organs, but this is the second one I've sold today.
'Oh,' said the customer, 'that must have been our Monka.'
Two men met each other on the beach at Majorca.
One looked at the other and asked, 'Are you brown from the sun?'
'No,' replied the other, 'I'm Smith from The Times.'
Here are some randomly selected jokes from other categories
Frogs
What do frogs like to drink when they are cold?
Hot croako.
A Bad Idea
Why is it a bad idea to tell jokes to an egg?
Because it will crack up.
Business Consultant
An business consultant is one who can tell you how to run your business but who isn't smart enough to run his own.
Fish
What do fish play on the piano?
Scales!
Christmas
Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy.
Knock Knock
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Violet.
Violet who?
Violet the cat out of the bag.
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