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British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories - Page 3

More of our British style of humour

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What did Brian say when he wanted his older brother to stop holding his plastic building bricks?
Where did the dog breeder deposit his savings?
In Bark-lays Bank.
What purrs quietly along the road and leaves holes in your lawn?
A Moles Royce.
What did the footballer say when he accidentally burped during a game? "Sorry, it was a freak hic."
What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent.
What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
Why did the bees go on strike?
Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers.
Did you hear about the man who entered a pun contest in a newspaper. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win the prize. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
A gang of thieves broke into a blood bank last night and stole a hundred pints of blood. Police are still hunting for the clots.
What do you call a horse that plays the violin in a musical?
Fiddler on the hoof.

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