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British Humour - Jokes and Funny Stories - Page 4


More of our British style of humour


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Which American duo became famous for stealing horses?
Bonnie and Clydesdale.
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What did the woman say to the undertaker when he started hitting his broken down funeral car?
Stop beating a dead hearse.
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Doctor, Doctor I've got rotten teeth, bad breath and smelly feet.
Sounds like you've got Foot and Mouth disease!
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Doctor Doctor I feel like biscuits!
What, you mean those square ones?
Yes!
The ones you put butter on?
Yes!
Well, that means you're crackers!
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Did you hear about the undertaker who buried someone in the wrong place?
He was sacked for making a grave mistake.
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Policeman: Why are you driving your car in circles?
Motorist: I was just going for a little spin.
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Why did the bus stop?
Because it saw the zebra crossing.
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What does an oyster do on his birthday?
He shellabrates.
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One day a Viking named Leif returned after a long sea voyage and found that during his absence his name had been removed from the town register. He sent his wife to the town hall make a complaint to the mayor.
'I'm sorry,' said the mayor, 'I must have taken Leif off my census.'

Submitted by: George
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What is a water otter?
A kettle.

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