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Change a Lightbulb Jokes - Page 5


The classic 'change lightbulbs' jokes


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How many Blue Peter (UK children's tv program) presenters does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change it, and one to turn the old one into an attractive Christmas tree decoration.
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How many trainspotters does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to change it, one to write its serial number down, and one to bring the anoraks and the flask of soup.
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How many Technical Support staff does it take to change a light bulb?
"Well, we have an exact copy of your light bulb here and it seems to be working OK. Can you be more specific about the exact problem?..."
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How many Chinamen does it take to change a light bulb?
Thousands, because Confucious say many hands make light work.
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How many members of the starship Enterprise does it take to change a light bulb?
7. Scotty will report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in the Engineering Section is burnt out, to which Kirk will send Bones to pronounce the bulb dead. Scotty, after checking around, notices that they have no more new light bulbs, and complains that he can't see in the dark to tend to his engines. Kirk must make an emergency stop at the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to procure a light bulb from the natives. Kirk, Spock, Bones, Sulu, and 3 red shirt security officers beam down. The 3 security officers are promptly killed by the natives, and the rest of the landing party is captured. Meanwhile, back in orbit, Scotty notices a Klingon ship approaching and must warp out of orbit to escape detection. Bones cures the native king who is suffering from the flu, and as a reward the landing party is set free and given all of the light bulbs they can carry. Scotty cripples the Klingon ship and warps back to the planet just in time to beam up Kirk et. al. The new bulb is inserted, and the Enterprise continues with its five year mission.
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How many engineering students does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but the rest of the class copies the report.
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How many Princeton students does it take to change a light bulb?
Two, one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.
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How many real men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Real men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one, but you have to nag him for a fortnight first.
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How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
(It's a very simple task, so...) None. "It's a man's job."

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