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Change a Lightbulb Jokes - Page 8


The classic 'change lightbulbs' jokes


This is page 8 of 12.


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How many civil servants does it take to change the light bulb?
45. One to change the bulb, and 44 to do the paperwork.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One to spot the burned-out bulb, his supervisor to authorize a requisition, a requisition typist, twelve clerks to file the requisition copies, a mail clerk to deliver the requisition to the purchasing department, a purchasing agent to order the bulb, a clerk to forward the purchasing order, a clerk to mail-order a receiving clerk to receive the bulb....
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How many London taxi drivers does it take to change a light bulb?
(Cue typical indignant Saaaaf London accent) What? Go all the way up there and come back empty? You must be jokin' mate !
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How many Dixons store assistants does it take to change a light bulb?
Err. Nahh, it's MEANT to go dark after a few weeks. It's a new fangled addition. It's been developed by, er, (etc...)
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How many computer journalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five-one to write a review of all the existing light bulbs so you can decide which one to buy, another one to write a remarkably similar one in another magazine the next month, a third to have a big one come out on glossy paper two months later that is by then completely out of date, a fourth to hint in his/her column that a completely new and updated bulb is coming out, and the fifth to report a rumor that that new bulb is shipping with a virus.
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How many journalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a pulitzer prize for reporting that the Electric Company hired a light bulb assassin to break the bulb in the first place.
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How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just define darkness as an industry standard.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. "We'll document it in the manual."
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How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. Two to write the specification program, one to screw it in, and two to explain why the project was late.

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