Golf Jokes - Page 2

The man who takes up golf to take his mind off his 'work' often takes up Work to take his mind off golf.

Wife: Where are you going with your golf clubs?
Husband: To a tee party.

Waiter: What will you have, sir?
Golfer: A club sandwich please.

Wife: Why do you always think about golf at bedtime?
Husband: It putts me to sleep.

Roger: I'm going on a diet to improve my golf game.
Tom: How will losing weight help your game?
Roger: Because at the moment I can't see the ball if I put it where I can hit it, and I can't hit it if I put it where I can see it!

Wife: Sorry, but you can't go to the golf course today.
Husband: Okay, in that case I'll just putter around the yard.

Golfer: Do you notice any improvement since last year?
Caddy: Yes sir, you've bought a new golf bag.

What are the three worst words you can hear while playing a round of golf?
"Still your turn"!

A man is about to be married and is waiting outside the church with his bride-to-be. Beside them are his golf clubs.
His bride asks him, "Why have you brought your golf clubs to the church on our wedding day?"
The groom replied, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"

"Charlie, why don't you play golf with Ted any more?" Charlie's wife asked.
"Would you play golf with a chap who moved the ball with his foot when he thought you weren't watching?" Charlie replied.
"Well, no," admitted his wife.
"And neither will Ted," replied the dejected husband.