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Golf Jokes - Page 3


Here are more jokes about golfers and golf.

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Golf Jokes
What goes 'putt, putt, putt, putt'?
A poor golfer.
Golf Jokes
Show me a man who is a good loser and I'll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.
Golf Jokes
Bill and I went golfing the other day. We were in the middle of the sixth fairway when Bill stopped in midswing and took off his hat in deference to a funeral procession that was passing by. Usually, he just played on ignoring all distractions. Impressed with his behavior, I did the same. When the procession had passed, I asked him, "Bill, that was damn respectful of you to pause for a procession like that. Why the unusual behavior?" "It's the least I could do for my wife ..."
Golf Jokes
A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint.
"Well it's like this Doc, whenever I play golf, I fall in love with the beautiful, lush fairways and greens we are playing on, and I just burst into song."
"What's wrong with that?" said the doc.
Well all I ever sing when we're on the course is 'The Green Green Grass of Home' and it's annoying my colleagues.
But there's more .... When we get back to the clubhouse, in the bar is the lucky black cat that lives at the club, then at the top of my voice I start singing" 'What's new, pussy cat?' and all I get is a barrage of complaints from the other members in the bar.
"Can't you sing some different songs?" said the doctor.
"Well no, I just can't seem to sing anything else, but then it gets worse because when I get home, it continues and when I'm asleep and dreaming, I always sing 'Delilah', and my wife is increasingly getting really angry and suspicious. But I just can't seem to stop singing these same songs".
"Ah, yes I see, I am beginning to suspect that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome".
"Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man.
"It's not unusual", replied the doctor.
Golf Jokes
PAR: What a golf addict's children call their father.
Golf Jokes
A man and his wife were watching golf on TV and the sound on the commentary was rather low. The woman went to turn it up. 'Ssh,' said the husband, 'ssh. Not while he's putting.'
Golf Jokes
Did you know, Peter, I got a new set of golf clubs for my wife last week.'
'Oh, David, what a bargain.'
Golf Jokes
This man wrote into the Daily Mirror for some advice. He said, 'Dear Marge, I must get this off my chest. I did this awful golf shot, and the ball didn't go anywhere near: the green. In fact it landed on this bloke's head and killed him. What shall I do?'
Marge said, 'Try and get more rhythm in your swing.'
Golf Jokes
My brother went to the doctor and said, 'Some days, I get the strange feeling that I'm a golf club.'
The doctor said, 'Can I join?'
Golf Jokes
My brother went to the doctor's and said, 'Some days, I think I'm a golf ball.'
The doctor said, 'Well you've come a fair way to see me...'

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