Joke Topic - 'Airlines'

You know its a "no frills" airline when...
... All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.
... Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.
... You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.
... Before take off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.
... The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.
... The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.
... You ask the Captain how often their planes crash. He says, "Just once."
... No movie. Didn't need one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.
... You see a man with a gun and he's demanding to be let off the plane.