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Joke Topic - 'Attorney'


Here are 2 jokes on the topic - 'Attorney'.

Related Topics: Lawyers (92) Law (6) Judges (14)
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A farmer walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for a divorce. The attorney asked, "May I help you?"
The farmer said, "Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces."
The attorney said, "Well do you have any grounds?"
The farmer said, "Yea, I got about 140 acres." The attorney said, "No, you don't understand, do you have a case?"
The farmer said, "No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere."
The attorney said, "No you don't understand, I mean do you have a grudge?"
The farmer said, "Yea I got a grudge, that's where I park my John Deere."
The attorney said, "No sir, I mean do you have a suit?"
The farmer said, "Yes sir, I got a suit. I wear it to church on Sundays."
The exasperated attorney said, "Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?"
The farmer said, "No sir, we both get up about 4:30."
Finally, the attorney says, "Okay, let me put it this way. WHY DO YOU WANT A DIVORCE?"
And the farmer says, "Well, I can never have a meaningful conversation with her."
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Many years ago, a junior partner in a law firm was sent to a far-away state to represent a long-term client accused of robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released. Excited about his success, the attorney telegraphed the firm: "Justice prevailed."
The senior partner replied in haste: "Appeal immediately."


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

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Dieting

The dieter's motto.
If at first you don't recede, diet again.
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The Ocean

Why is a Christmas pudding just like the ocean?
it's full of currants!
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Snakes

Baby snake: Mommy, are we poisonous?
Mother snake: Yes honey, but why do you want to know?
Baby snake: Well, I just bit my tongue...
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Tablecloths

DINER: How often do you change the tablecloths in this establishment?
WAITER: I don't know, sir, I've only worked here six months.
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Secret Agents

What do you call a secret agent that hangs around department stores?
A counterspy.
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Punk Rockers

How many PUNK ROCKERS does it take to change a light-bulb?
Two. One to change the bulb and one to kick the chair out from under him.
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Sheep

What do you get if you cross a sheep and a rainstorm?
A wet blanket.
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Ghosts

What did the ghost say to his wife when he came home?
Hello, boo-tiful!
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Road

What's that up the road? A head?

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