Joke Topic - 'Bait'

A man went into a pet shop and asked the assistant if they had any dogs going cheap?
He replied, "Sorry sir all ours go woof."

Why did the pilot visit the physiatrist?
Because he was plane crazy.

What do you get if you cross a tourist and an elephant?
Something that carries it's own trunk.

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

How many paranoids does it take to change a lightbulb?
Who wants to know?

Mr Green: My wife's one in a million.
Mr Brown: Really? I thought she was won in a raffle.

King Henry VIII went to heaven. St Peter said, 'Tell me, why did you have so many different wives?'
Henry said, 'I like to' chop and change.'

l thought I might become a history teacher when I grew up, but then I realized there was no future in it.

What did one cloud say to the other one?
Let's be cirrus.