A man walks into a bar and asks the barman, 'Was I in here last night?'
'You certainly were,' replies the barman.
'And did I spend a lot of money?'
'You spent over £100', replies the barman.
'Thank god for that,' says the man, 'I thought I'd wasted it.'
A polar bear walks in to a bar and says to the barman. "I'll have a Gin and..........................tonic."
"Why the big pause?" replies the barman. The Polar bear looks down at this hands and says
"What do you mean, I've always had them."
Two television sets walk into a bar and the barman says "sorry, but we don't serve your kind in this bar".
One television turns to the other and says "I thought that we'd get a better reception than this in here".
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Dentists
Did you hear about the movie which features a dentist who travels backwards and forwards in time?
It's called "Plaque to the Future."
Cows
Which American state has the most cows?
Moosouri.
Operating
He's always operating in stand-by mode.
Jewelry
What do you call a piece of jewelry that has been lost in the long grass on a golf course?
A diamond in the rough.
Ghosts
What do ghosts like to dance to?
Soul music.
Reindeer
Which reindeer has bad manners?
Rude-olph.
Well Off
Wife: Before we were married, you told me you were well off.
Husband: I was, but I didn't realize just how how well off I was.
Computers
Hardware,
The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.
Blondes
Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
A: Third Grade.