Joke Topic - 'Born On A Farm'

Did you hear about the two satellite dishes that got married?
The wedding was terrible, but the reception was great!

What did Santa Claus's wife say during a thunderstorm?
"Come and look at the rain, dear."

What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to go swimming?
An octopuss.

If you jogged backward would you gain weight?

Why did the human cannon ball consider himself a failure?
Because he was always being fired.

My girlfriend just saved me a lot of money - she married someone else.

Why should you never tell your secrets to a pig?
Because he is a squealer.

I'm not a steady drinker - my hand shakes too much.

What do you call a crazy spaceman?
An astronut.